lone wolf

Todd means "fox"; to be called a fox is usually referring one to being a crafty, sly, or clever person. These are my tales. If you're curious, then ask. Oh, and I'm an ISTJ.

Sometimes, I hear words that bring healing to my soul. 

That was then.

- Justin Vernon

I’m going to try to tune into Coachella this weekend. I plan on watching The Head and the Heart, City and Colour, and Kid Cudi.

tale #3

"For anyone to love a man, he must be hidden, for as soon as he shows his face, love is gone.” The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky

I used to be someone who not only spent a significant amount of time on social media, but also heavily relied on social media for communication. I constantly updated my Facebook and my Twitter, adding content to both mediums to portray the “picturesque” life that I lived. However, social media was more than just a way to update friends on how my life was going. Social media was a mask. 
In June of 2013, I deleted my Facebook and my Twitter account; this has been one of the most beneficial decisions I have ever made. Most of my friends found this action to be revolutionary: "You have fallen from the face of the earth." "How am I supposed to keep in contact with you now?" "Where have you been?". 
Among the many questions asked, no one asked the simplest question: why? 
I have told many surface level lies, however, I will tell you this honestly. I deleted my social media accounts because this past year has been the roughest year of my life and I wanted to maintain as much privacy as possible. I will not go into detail about it; however, I no longer have to hide behind the lie of my social media image and pretend that everything is going fine in my life. Now, I can show my face. 
I completely agree with Dostoesvsky. I knew that if I was honest about what was going on in my life to the multitude of people on my social media accounts, love would vanish. If you are honest with people in your life and show your face — your face with the scars, and scratches, and pimples, and bruises — those people will disappear. 
Love is gone, love is gone. 

When drunk, you will slur every word but my name.
When you pass out from intoxication, you will tell your mother that it was from too much vodka and no one was there to stop you.
you were alone.
She will not ask about me.
You will wonder why.

Three weeks ago, when I called her, I told her to stop asking about me,
to stop reassuring you that the next phone call would be from me,
because this was the last.
we both cried.

you will wear out the knees of your jeans praying I will come back.
I will wear out my voice screaming in the middle of the night,
always screaming that I miss you.

we were right for each other, but wrong at love.
we were not good enough,
we will never be good enough.

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